"the man i am married to now doesn't mind. other ones did. there is an invisible strain, sinewy, ready to rip, between a woman and words. i like to push on words until they rip. i like to leave the wound unsutured, not for shock-value, but to combat ignorance with mildy interesting questions. 'Wife' is like a tattoo, or a cut, something into the flesh to battle complacency about gender, monogamy, and heterosexuality. i'm just curious and driven. those are my best bets."